Grief is transient, loss eternal
by crankyhermit
Summary: Masahiro is growing up. Guren is uncomfortable.


Written for chibimazoku for the yaoi-challenge obscure fandom challenge.

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**Grief is transient, loss eternal**

Guren woke when Masahiro rolled over and buried his face in Guren's belly. He squirmed; while the warmth was pleasant, the boy's head was heavy and breathing was becoming a chore. Muttering in his sleep, Masahiro reached out and grabbed him to stop him from getting away. "mm... your fur is so soft, Mokkun." Guren shook his ears, as much amused as annoyed, and then became aware of Rikugou, standing silently by the lamp.

"What is it?" he demanded shortly, feeling oddly exposed, as though the other shikigami had intruded on a private moment.

"Seimei remarked that you may find some interesting ayakashi in the east quarter. He thought you might want to walk that way with Masahiro on your next patrol." Rikugou's calm gaze rested briefly on Masahiro, then he was gone.

Guren bristled. No one could tell what Rikugou was thinking, or if he would say something to Seimei. He'd rather it have been any of the other shikigami who had come -- at least it was always clear where they stood. Not that Guren cared what they thought. He did not need their approval.

Masahiro nuzzled his belly again, still asleep, and, suddenly irked by the vulnerability of his current form, Guren changed and pushed himself up on his elbows before he thought to regret disturbing Masahiro's sleep. Masahiro slid down his body and woke, obviously confused to have found himself with a faceful of hard stomach. The boy petted around his stomach, raised his head and rubbed his eyes muzzily, wavering until he focused, more or less, on Guren. "Whuh?"

He looked so young and lost. "Mokkun? What's the matter?"

Guren shook his head, mentally reproaching himself for letting such a trivial matter upset him. "It's nothing. Go back to sleep; it is still dark."

Masahiro looked around more alertly, still resting on Guren. He had grown so much, Guren thought, remembering a time when a tiny, trusting child had fallen asleep on his stomach, exhausted after a morning spent playing chase with the most feared of the Shinsou. "Was someone here?"

Ah. So Masahiro had noticed. This sign that Masahiro was finally growing into his powers, his control and senses becoming more refined, should have pleased Guren. Instead, he felt an obscure pang, as though Masahiro's gain was somehow his loss.

While he was still brooding over an answer that would not induce Masahiro to jump up and launch another tirade over his interfering grandfather, Masahiro exhaled loudly, rolled off Guren and sat up. "It's no good, I'm awake now! Aaah, I should go to the Onmyou dorms early, I've been absent so much."

But your absences have all been for good reasons, Guren wanted to tell him. Masahiro had patrolled the city, fought monsters far beyond what one of his years should have faced, and suffered grievous injuries in doing so. Seimei's chosen successor or not, he deserved, no, _needed_ the rest. Everyone was pushing him too hard.

Guren counted himself a creature of instinct, more action than thought. Without further dithering, he sat up and caught at Masahiro's sleeve. Masahiro looked at him, startled, aborted his move to stand. "What's wrong, Guren?"

Masahiro had been a loving, and lovable, child. It would have taken a far harder heart than Guren's to avoid feeling protectiveness. He had undergone his coming of age late, and Guren would have wished it even later, but though still child-like in certain respects, he had become dependable, and a lovely youth. Guren pressed his palm carefully to Masahiro's soft cheek, leaned in, and kissed him. Then he pulled back and waited for a reaction.

Masahiro sat frozen with surprise. His lips were parted, eyes wide. Color bloomed on his face alongside understanding. He hesitated, and then he raised a hand and placed it over Guren's, pressing his cheek into Guren's palm. Watching him closely, Guren leaned in and reached between his legs, closed around him. Masahiro jumped a little, and he stopped. "You scared?"

It was the right, or perhaps wrong, thing to say. Masahiro's look took on a familiar expression of flinty determination -- he would never back down now. He shuffled closer a little awkwardly, and put his other hand over Guren's other hand, pulled a little, encouraging. Guren bent and kissed him again as he moved his hand, until Masahiro began to make soft gasping cries, and shuddered with release.

Guren held him until the last of the shocks subsided, then withdrew his hand from inside Masahiro's sleeping robe, and began to lick it clean, still watching him.

Masahiro's expression was by turns dazed, fascinated and appalled, and he shot quick, uneasy looks at Guren's own nether regions, clearly wondering if he was expected to do the same. Steeling himself visibly, he began to reach for Guren, and jumped in fright when Guren's now-clean hand closed over his wrist.

"No," Guren told him. _There's no need to_ would probably taken badly. "I don't need some inexperienced brat to settle this," he said, and as Masahiro bristled, immediately indignant, added, "You should be heading out already, Seimei's grandson. _There._

The awkward moment was gone as if it had never been. Masahiro looked around, saw the bright sky, and was scrambling to get ready as he did every day. Guren did not feel like changing back into his usual form just yet, and realized his mistake when Masahiro paused as he pulled up his hair to tie it and fixed him with a clear-eyed look. "Did you... and Grandfather..." That was all he managed to get out before he flushed crimson and became unable to continue.

"That's between Seimei and myself," Guren told him, and leered meaningfully, for effect. Even more flustered, Masahiro shoved his cap onto his head and fled, ignoring his mother's calls for him to at least have breakfast before leaving, and barely recovering enough to blush and stutter a goodbye to his little princess.

It had been too soon, Guren reflected; Masahiro hadn't even thought to connect what they had just done to his relationship with Akiko. And yet. Masahiro was Seimei's grandson and heir, with barely repressed potential all but bursting from him. He would be a great onmyouji. He would have many shikigami. He would have lovers, male and female, judging by how others of his age responded to him... and come what may, Guren would always be his first, in all things.

Guren shifted back into his innocuous "Mokkun" form and ran to catch up with Masahiro.

**the end**


End file.
